Safety Sandra – Traffic Offenders Beware
Safety Sandra – Traffic offenders beware
The other day as I was turning left from Herbert Chitepo Avenue into Rekayi Tangwena Avenue, I saw a car coming straight towards me at high speed and at first I thought, I was still tired and not focused. I slowed down in shock. The man was angry and shouting at me. 10 seconds later a second driver did the same and another 10 seconds later, the third driver did the same. They were all angry and cursing at me and waving their hands at me to get in the other lane.
They were driving on the WRONG side of the road!!!!! They had created an additional third lane on the street meant for traffic moving in the opposite direction. On top of that, they had the audacity to hurl abuse at me. Really! How is that possible?
Well, that’s when I decided no more road rage. Instead I put my imagination to work.
I let my imagination go wild and fantasized about having a huge invincible car with metal bullbars all around – the front, the back and the sides. Like protective armour. There’ll be another addition - discs saws that would appear on the side of the car through the bullbars, at the touch of a button. Press another button and hey presto – enamel claws.
I saw this type of a car in a movie once. It was used by the evil nemesis to literally decapitate the enemies’ transport.
Except I would be using my dream car for deeds of good – as the new vigilante road rescuer.
So when I see that reckless driver in the wrong lane, coming towards me I just imagine myself in my dream car, go slightly left so I don’t crash my car and then I would press a button to activate sharpened enamel claws which would scratch the side of the offending car.
Then the driver can hurl as much abuse as he or she wants. ‘Good luck with the panelbeating and spraypainting!’ I would shout.
I would roam the streets of Harare as Safety Sandra meting out road justice to traffic offenders, since none of us can rely on police officers to ensure safety on the roads.
There is often a strong police presence at strategic spots, harassing drivers for imaginary and other offences that do nothing to ensure traffic safety. They are on their own quest – ‘earn as you harass’ scheme.
Even as they stand in their strategic points waiting to waylay hapless motorists, just a few metres up the road there are plenty drivers behaving badly and almost causing accidents.
So very often I look at the traffic light in the distance and notice that it is red. As I get closer it turns green. So when I get to the traffic light it has been green for some time – at least 30 to 45 seconds. Can I safely drive across? You must be joking!!
Not one, but several cars on the opposite side red almost always go through the red traffic light on their side of the road – making other cars swerve or slam on brakes really hard. This happens on a daily basis. So nowadays I slow down and actually stop even though it is green for me. I check that the traffic on the opposite side has come to a complete standstill and then I proceed.
However…if I was in my invincible car and I was kitted out in protective clothing (my cloak of course) I would go right ahead and let the car hit me. With the bullbars my car is pimped out with, can you imagine the damage on that car and again it won’t be my fault!!
The driver will have to explain why he or she went through a red light, if everything goes according to the law. If it does not, I still win. One menace off the road. For a while, anyway.
These fantasies are rather vicious I know. Letting my imagination go wild on how I can take revenge against dangerous and verbally abusive drivers beats my struggle with road rage and the accompanying high levels of stress.
Reyhana Masters 29.07.15